let it go

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about mindfulness and the practice of being present, especially as I prepare to introduce this concept to the group of middle schoolers that will be coming to Summer School in a few weeks. We talk to the students about paying attention to ourselves, taking a moment to notice what shows up, understanding why that feeling or thought is important and then taking mindful and purposeful action. This was taught through the practice of meditation. I believe taking the time to close your eyes and take deep breaths is a wonderful practice to have in life. But, to be honest, I have always struggled with sitting still, allowing my thoughts to pass and focusing on my breath. Maybe it’s that I haven’t practiced it enough, but I just can’t seem to integrate it into my routine...

With this in mind, I read “Learn to Let Go - a guided journal”.

The first part of the book is about letting go and starts off with meditation exercises. I tried them and while it felt good and relaxing, but I found that this relaxed state I was in only lasted a few moments…. The author then provides a lists various things we can try to let go of - the past, our thoughts on the future, labels we’ve been given or have given, stories we tell ourselves, judgements we have made, conclusions and expectations. When we can let go of these things and see things as they appear in front of us, it allows us to be more open, open minded and be grateful for the many things we encounter as we live our day to day lives.

The book then goes into the importance of revisiting the past with the message: “integrate your shows and become whole". This chapter highlighted how important journaling can be. Just writing your thoughts and feeling as you revisit past events can help us gain more clarity and awareness of yourself. One activity that gave me some insight to myself was the idea that what annoys us in others can actually be a reflect of something within ourselves. I hadn’t considered this before, but taking time to think about this gave me a lot of insight on myself.

The last chapter of the book describes the concept of surrendering. If we become more aware of our ‘inner’ and ‘outer’ selves, we can create the space to allow things to just happen as they do and we can be part of existence. In other words, surrender to the judgements, conclusions and expectations we have of ourselves and of how the world should revolve. It’s not giving up, its more letting go of needing things to go a certain way. The book explains that while we can put in the effort to achieve our goals, we can also choose to trust and follow our intuition, take action when it feels right and be ok with the uncertainty.

Going back to the idea of meditation.

Reading this book made me re-evaluate my thoughts on meditation. I feel meditation is the practice of slowing down and focusing on now or in other words, letting go. So if we can find a practice that allows us to do so, isn’t that a form of meditation? I have always felt painting is my form of meditation. I can get so lost in focus with what I am painting, when feelings and thoughts come up, I can focus on those too. I feel the same way when I play music or listen to music, or read a book, or just going on a walk and looking at what is happening around me.

So I feel I have practices I can do more of in my daily life to continue the practice of letting go. So what about revisiting the past? For a while now, I have been journaling every day and writing these posts to organize the many thoughts I have also has helped me reflect on myself. So I hope to continue this too.

Lastly, surrendering. This is something I have struggled with. I’ve written about this in previous posts but I feel I have such high expectations of myself or of how things should go. As a result, I stress out and get anxious…. So my goal from now is to practice letting go of expectations. I want to enjoy each moment as it is, as it flows! I’ve also realized that I am drawn to people who live this way.

And just yesterday, after long talks with a dear friend, I think I know one thing I want to let go of… :)